Log in

No account? Create an account
please don't judge me by my journal name i was 15's Journal

> recent entries
> calendar
> friends
> profile
> previous 20 entries

Saturday, March 3rd, 2012
12:23 pm - Bowling
One shake, one mango juice a piece of pizza and 3 beers.

Dinner is the worst.

Bowling was fun, bowled a 75 sober then got drunk and bowled a 145.

(comment on this)

Friday, March 2nd, 2012
8:25 am - harrow wive journal
The good part of me is in hibernation again. Means I have to think about my feelings more and not compartmentalize them.

Hello, livejournal.

Anyway, part of this is for realz diet, starting today. This has needed to happen for a while. My boobs have reached proportions previously unexplored by the asian side of my family, and my summer wardrobe is going to be seriously limited since I won't buy new clothes. So, I know I'm a lolocoaster usually but a small part of this is a food record woot woot.

Work is going well, frustrating as usual. The newbies started beginning of November, I'm going to give them all cards with money in them, 'cept the one I bought shots for.

I'm really not sure why I'm emotionally dead lately. Usually, it's a response to chronic lack of sleep (only been mild) or badness I don't want to deal with, but if so I've repressed it so h4rd I can't find and demolish it. Maybe I have an idea of my future and I don't like it? I wish my subconscious would communicate better.

PB/Shake/taco/ice cream
In penance, shakes all day. These are soy 13g protein / serving shakes.

I walk miles and miles every day at work, usually carrying things, so diet manipulation and maybe a little running should work. I fuckinghaterunning.

Survey says, don't go home at night.

(comment on this)

Thursday, December 15th, 2011
6:19 am
despite all my rage...

(comment on this)


Ugh seriously? Slamming the sexual assaults against Salander? The fact that you're calling her 'Lisbeth' in your misguided article says a lot. Pretty sure Steig's point was that sexual violence is reality, he's trying to bring issues to light, and you're missing the point you stupid cu...chick.

Okay, no one will fight with me about this on facebook.

You stupid cunt cunt cunt (feminists hate the word CUNT, generally). Just calling her Lisbeth is irritating. She's a human being. Women are much more likely to be sexually assaulted. This is reality. This is not everyone gets a trophy and there are no losers. People are shitty. She looks like prey, and maybe she is, but she is also wicked. She does what she wants to do. She isn't a feminist - she's a humanist. Is that a thing? What I mean is, it shouldn't matter what gender she is - her reactions are plausible. HOWEVER, she only HAS to react because she's 'prey.'

Do you have any idea how many men hone in on that? I would say about 10% are drawn to easy targets. A smaller percentage of those would act on it. I'm good at reading people, I always have been. Unlike Salander, I'm also good at Not. Being. Prey. A lot of people think I'd make an excellent dominatrix/probably like to tie guys up and maybe use whips and shit. This is a cultivated vibe, fueled by my outrage of the prey dilemma.

"To sum it up….Lisbeth is a great, strong female character. We need more characters like her. We need them to inspire the ferocious, feral spirit that lives in all women. But, what we don’t need are more morally ambiguous, violent stories that are held on their axis by the portrayal of a form of violence against women that borders on sexualizing it."

A lot of people's knee-jerk reaction to this is positive and agreeable. I know this because a part of me, the small, 'normal' part of me feels that way. Except...wait a second...the ferocious, feral spirit doesn't live in all women. Or all men. Morally ambiguous, violent story? Raping people is wrong. Revenge is wrong, too. Read the rest of the books, Salander's mental issues are well-explained, and her mentally-stable friends express unease and moral issues with her need for revenge.

Sexualized violence? Look at popular media. Or historic media. Nonconformists are always thought of as highly-sexual / promiscuous. Salander says she went through a phase, and now has an average sex life. We see dark make up and sexy clothing and associated it with having sex. Being sexy / dark / etc does not equal promiscuous.

Do you know why I call her Salander? Because, I, like you, you sheltered-twat, don't know her as a woman. She's a human being. She's preyed upon for being a woman. She's underestimated for being a woman. She fights back because she's human.

I would like to hire a man to slap you and tell you to get back in the kitchen. Don't create issues that don't exist because you view the world through your jaded feminist glasses.

(comment on this)

Thursday, June 25th, 2009
2:32 am - CUP PIE
Ok, so I've never made a pie or even seen a pie being made.  I assumed it was something difficult.  No.

I didn't have enough flour for the crust recipe so I guess-adjusted the other quantities.  Then the apple filling I didn't really follow but just put things I thought would taste good (it called for brown/white sugar, butter and water and I added nutmeg, cinnamon, vanilla and milk because it was thick).   I did everything with a cup measure and just eyeballed it.

THEN I crammed this thing into a large muffin tin.  It wasn't very pretty and I didn't use a rolling pin to roll the dough.  The crust is the best crust I've ever had on a pie (oh I tossed some extra happiness in that, too).  I guessed on the time/temp.  WHAT HAPPENED?  

HEAVEN IN A CUP.  You know how sometimes you have a perfect moment and all your senses are absolutely delighted?  That happened in my mouth.  I could feel my taste buds smiling.   Every other fruit pie I've had has a slightly weak crust, this perfect cuppie had no mushy, only goody.  Mom's and Achatz included.  I'm very sad I only made one because I expected total failure.  Also I ate the rest of the granny smith apple ew ew ugh bleh.

Hell, I never even liked pie.  This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship. 

I'm going to experiment tomorrow with peach-blackberry-raspberry pie, two kinds of apple pie, strawberry and WHO KNOWS WHERE THE ROAD WILL TAKE US.  I understand the basics of this pie thing and I'm adjusting it to my liking.  Pie isn't even that bad for you - cake is a million times worse and that cup pie > cake.  Fruit is so naturally sweet.  My mouth still tastes delicious.

Going home on friday.  Bearing pie.  Real ones and cup ones.  

Of course I'm going to bake cheese and honey into some of the crusts. 

(comment on this)

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008
2:17 pm - axolandals

The little fuckers (http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=4968901&albumID=2129654&imageID=44368084)  can metamorphose into regular ol' salamanders.  Usually this doesn't happen without crazy hormone treatment.  BUT I have magical powers that can 1) heal axolotls  and 2) turn axolotls and seahorses into homos and now 3) perform ursula-like magic and give them the ability to walk on land and find Prince Eric.

I feel bad for this little dude.  It's like he wished for his gills to go away so he could run away with his brain intact...he hasn't stopped pacing and searching for something.  He's old, too, so this is basically a death sentence.  He's not looking for food, either.

My hands are worse every day.  They would like to return to Uganda.   All my clothes still smells like Uganda anyway...seriously,  I can't tell if it's in my head or not.  I'm freaking out about it. 

I'm looking for a dog that doesn't shed or drool and will die in a couple years.

This whole US-economy-goes-down-like-the titanic thing makes me all interested in the markets.  I have a disturbing desire to see the violent end of things.  The bigger the better.

I hate Sparty's.  Time to stick my hands in water woohoo pain.  Then home to cough, drink tea, write a cheerful (drunk?) thing about how I wants to be a veterinariany when I grow up and watch house.  Have fun at boozeday, the smoke would kill me today.

current mood: freezing/burning up/coughing
Monday, July 14th, 2008
11:06 pm - yay for being home
Mom: *turns on MASH* you should watch this, since you're into the whole army thing.
Me: Very funny.
Mom: You could watch Army Wives!
Me: Ha. Ha. Ha. No. The season finale was -

Me: I don't watch Army Wives, and I'm not going to.
Mom: Maybe one day you'll be on it.

I got some AMAZING shoes.  I just need some quickdry shirts, should get a pair of pants like that too...then drugs, and I'm ready to die in africa.  I don't really think I'm going to die.  I do, however, think I'll be pooping in a bag at some point.  Please, God, disappoint me like you usually do.

(1 comment | comment on this)

Tuesday, May 27th, 2008
2:32 pm - Give it to me
IIIIIIIIIIII'm so addicted to the lovin' that you're givin' to meeee

I've driven like 400 miles in the past couple days.  Kinda thinking about being a truck driver because it's FUN.

(comment on this)

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008
3:54 pm - the best part is "shut up redneck ... man"

shut up redneck...man

sawyer looks so hot

(comment on this)

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008
3:42 pm - ocean rider is no longer the devil
Ocean Rider, Supreme Ruler of the Captivebred Seahorse Market, is pushing conservation.  I've hated them vehemently for so long...I feel lost.

In other news, looking at my desktop makes me sick.  I don't want to make a list of the drivers I need and get them in the MSU library.  I was sooo against this that I just went and bought a $952 lenovo laptop.  My mom wouldn't let me get a disposable laptop, which I think would be a better idea anyway.  I could've bought a ~400 cheapo thing with a 2 year lifespan, and just gotten a new one later. 

Whatever.  And because it's not sitting in circuit city I have to wait 3 weeks.  I might might maybe fix my desktop before then.

Saturday I'm going to a michigan frog meeting.  This guy I met at Petco (he works there) asked what the crickets were for (A: the lab I work in) and said he had some dart frogs, we started talking, and now he's driving me there.

(1 comment | comment on this)

Monday, May 5th, 2008
9:52 am - seriously annoyed up in here
My computer cheated on me while I was home for 10 hours and now has some nasty computer std.

I've come to terms with losing everything I have on it.  The big problem is not having any installation disks because I haven't had problems since I got it 4 years ago.  4 years on windows with no problems.  :(  Bye bye music.

I'm blaming my cousin.  I think he used IE to check his email the other day.

Brent's bringing over his windows cds and we're killing it.

So, yeah.  My computer might be junk for a while because I don't have any install cds.  Bye bye guys.

(4 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
8:06 pm - the 500 word mark break
I just got my aquaculture grades.  97%/90% on the two part final that I studied for like 30 minutes.  The second highest grade in the 30 years he's taught the course from studying for 30 minutes.  Overall a 98% in the class.  I am good at this shit.  I see the world as systems and costs and balances, and I understand that people want to pay the value they personally place on a product, not the actual worth (woo walmart fuck you).  I think I have some mild god-complex issues where I think if I control the system it will be fine, or at least without surprise fuck ups.  Bow before your God Apophis.

I would be a liability and vector for disease, a potential million dollar loss.  And there's the pain.  Mostly that, because I could wear gloves all of the time and cancel out the disease transmission, just having the pain to deal with.  And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why getting married and pregnant looks better every month.

(comment on this)

1:35 pm - sorry i'm being a flake but this sums up my life right now

(13:34:33) brie: yeah, i should be better by next week
(13:34:35) brie: hoopefully
(13:34:54) FlyMonk321: or at least on the road to recovery
(13:35:05) brie: yeah
(13:35:12) brie: right now i'm on the road to being an alcoholic insomniac

I wish my term paper was due thursday.  Or that my exam wasn't tomorrow.  Rwar.  Either way I'm done in 27 hours.  Then lots of work to do, and I think I have to buy real clothes to watch people graduate.  I'm mildly annoyed at my egypt prof for okaying me talking about dromedary camels, then forgetting he said that and being all smarmy about camels not being egyptology, 'cause, seriously, what did the comic mergers he told us about have to do with ANYTHING that has anything to do with anything real people do in the real world.

whatever. he's still a pretty fly for a white guy.  NOW:  Stargate SG-1:  The Gateway to Pyramidiocy??  (lol if you get the pun you're a dork)

(comment on this)

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008
11:08 am - I hate quotes.
Overpopulation is the elephant in the room.  Marriage is just a financial transaction.  I bet tons of google sites pop up if you search those.  Why do people get so much credit for talking?  And after one person says it loud enough, anyone else saying it is simply copying, even if it was an original idea.

Why do people think only one person can think something witty or succinct and observant?  monkeys typewriters shakespeare blah blah blah humans livejournal plato blah blah blah

(1 comment | comment on this)

Wednesday, April 16th, 2008
11:20 pm - mmmmm bambi
I was going to write about how stores need to be open late for people with jobs that don't work with the sunlight and how if you define 'want' and 'need' and don't be all caught up in baby's daddy shit you can be fine with a 40hr/wk nightshift at meijer and that's totally your decision because this isn't a communist country and so we can all try to do what we want instead of what needs to be done and no one wants to clean toilets (okay someone on 4chan wants to) so the people who don't decide or realize there's a choice (this is the closest I come to sympathy about this) end up with the brushes and anyway they needto support the doctor/nurses/energy/caretaker shift people's needs.  I'm a firm believer in AMERICA allowing you to work your way up. You just need to stop bitching about starting at the bottom.  And 'hard work' is a ridiculous, subjective idea.  My dad and vets in general go to school for 8 years to make 50,000 starting.  I thought working 70+hrs a week, a couple of those on call, and not having money for new clothes was a normal thing.  This is why I'm not direly concerned with my future.  I'll be able to do something.


I just got some depressing Armada news and have now decided we need a totally new branch of government that randomly screens people for psychological problems.  JOBS!  Whatever is going on in your life it could be worse.  You don't want to know.  If any of you Armadians still read this and don't know what I'm talking about contact me somehow. 

ps a circus has the potential to be way more humane than a zoo but this would be nigh impossible to standardize/inspect
ps I have on occasion considered cutting out beef/pork from my diet and in reality I don't eat those two very much.  Nothing to do with the animal, I have consumed many-a-animal I've seen as a baby/called by name/petted/fed a treat and I will continue doing so, but the environmental issues are almost big enough.  Then again, the meat I usually eat (that I make) comes from lowlowlow intensity farming.  You don't bother to name a thousand pigs.

Wednesday, February 13th, 2008
11:44 am - LOLathon
8:50am:  I leave the house and break a chunk out of my nail when I shut the door. It doesn't hurt, but it's getting caught on everything all day.

So, I'm thrilled it's WARM out and merrily speed-walking along, crossing the Harrison/Grand River intersection when I hit a patch of ice or put too much confidence in the treads on my shoes...either way I fall, MAGNIFICENTLY, as in gangly-man+banana peel magnificently.  Yeah.  Yes, of course there are lines of cars watching me fall.  The cute guy I've never seen before behind me?  Yeah, he saw me fall, too (and asked if I was okay). 

Ok.  It's sort of funny.  I'm not bleeding anywhere, my pants aren't ripped...resume speed-walking and laughing at myself.  I reach in my pocket to check the time and I find my glove.  So, I half-run the 30 yards back to the intersection but the road is filled with snow, and the cars already went once...no phone in sight.  No two week old, beloved, tiny black phone anywhere.  Or maybe it was everywhere already.

I'm bummed.  For some weird reason I have phone insurance for the first time ever, and I wasn't even going to get it.  I'll have a phone back eventually...but I already set all the speed dials and shit on this one.  And I had a tape of my seahorse with eggs all over him. 

Also, if a test isn't designed to take 80 minutes, don't put a 45 minute essay question (it said 'take ~45 minutes) along with 5 mini-essays and 30 fill-in-the-blanks.  Douche.

Slim chance I left the phone in my house.  Please be in my house, phone.  Please?

And the protein bar I grabbed today expired in 4/06.  It was made in 01/06.  I took a bite of it.  If I die, it's either that or because my inhaler is empty.  Humid is supposed to help my lungs but they're freaking out, and because they've been so good in the wicked cold I hadn't checked my inhaler...yeah, I'm fucked.  Maybe I'll get to use one of the green rape phones.  That would be joy of joys.

current mood: hungry

(3 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, January 9th, 2008
12:22 am - Seahorses
I just found 15 babies in the tank.  That there are so many and most are still lookin' cute/feelin' cute means Tweaks or snookums popped pretty recently.  Brine should be ready in less than 24 hours (18 will make happaay).  If I can get a couple to 5 months I will be sooo happy.

Given my total lack of WARNING I'm guessing I won't reach this goal...these bastards are like pregnant celebs wearing a sweatshirt - you can't even tell they've got one[hundred] on the way.

Classes are crazy.  This week is nuts.  Next week I will settle into the nice routine of not doing anything expect on Tuesday nights, the new best night of the week.

15 only set me back 2 hours on getting to bed...and take away an hour of sleep tomorrow morning.  The sad thing is this is a good sacrifice.  If these guys live, be prepared for "i can't, i have to take care of my seahorses" to once again become my reason for bailing on hanging out with people.

(3 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, December 5th, 2007
9:15 am - Vampires, dinosaurs and zombies
 Craziest dream in a long time. My family was running from something (we run into New York from that stupid show), most other people were dead, at some point we were trapped in a huge room that had flooded then frozen. There were dinosaurs in there that started to thaw, but to leave the room we had to die going through the door and it HURT. My dad went first and the doorway strips your spirit from your body and burns/strips flesh off your body, then your body dies and your spirit becomes corporal and you're better but there's no way we could get isaac and taylor to go through. So, I went to the vampires to ask if there was any other way. Vampire dude is all like 'you realize I eat humans' and I'm like 'yeah, but dinosaurs are going to eat my brothers and sisters if I don't get them out of the room'

Cute vampire and I are having this conversation on a daybed, and he picks up my hand and starts being all 'humans have such soft skin' and I'm annoyed by this and tell him to help me.  He keeps running his fingers up and down my arm, and the only reason I'm not making out with a vampire is the young girl vampire watching us in the corner.  Another vampire walks in and is all what the fuck? and little girl vampire says I'm cute vamps girlfriend.  I argue with this and leave.  Somehow we get everyone out of the room and run into the vampires.  The little girl is all "it's your girlfriend!'  and then we go talk.  Vampires and humans don't date, apparently.  But he does like me.  

Why can't my dream love life be more encouraging than the real thing?

This is what happens when you watch 30 days of night and Nip/Tuck before bed, instead of studying for a final.  Going to take final now.

current mood: amused

(comment on this)

Sunday, December 2nd, 2007
10:30 pm - aw hells yeah my baby loves me more
That's the only entry I read on my friend list.

It's exam time.  I have a presentation tomorrow, an exam Wednesday and then my other exams are at the end of next week.  I think I'm going to put up christmas decorations during finals week instead of studying.  I already have lights for my porch, and I might even go buy a tree.

I have a lot of mailing to do.  One...two...three...four....I think that's it.  Hm. Maybe five things.

I really dont' want to wake up ta 7:30, leave by 8, get to Nat Resources by 8:35, practice powerpoint thing for 3 hours, give a presentation.  

What do I want for christmas?   I want the birthday dude to keep his flock to himself.  I'm tired of people saying I'm not sheepy enough for them.  Hahahah.  I'd be less amused if things worked out well in my life.

Fersrstho I'm going to try damn hard to enjoy christmas.  There's going to be a lot of tea and candles and  books and music.  And baking.  And being mopey about lasik not happening.  Also, bars.  'Cause december is fucking cold and my bed is so amazing/big that not sharing it is sinful.

current mood: the last part is a lie

(2 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, October 30th, 2007
4:14 pm - Barbie

Why the cold shoulder?

(comment on this)

> previous 20 entries
> top of page